Writers make up pure fiction all the time, however usually our best work has some basis in reality. Many writing sages suggest to write what you know, but what if our experience doesn’t go that far? How do we write a romance novel or romantic story that is believable without a lot of experience with romance?
If you are a fan of the genre I’m sure you would have already done your research on how romance is portrayed in fiction. I’m sure from the books you have read that a few key words or phrases might come to mind if you are thinking about the passionate bits.
A lot of stories can sound the same when it comes to the confessing feelings part of it.
So what to do?
Firstly, I would suggest stopping for a moment and journal some romantic stories you liked, and some that were memorably bad. Even keeping a key list of phrases you like or don’t like can help.
If you want to go further, you could brainstorm other ways to say the same thing.
For example, instead of: his heart slammed into his ribs
You could say: his pulse raced, his pulse sped up, his heart paced, and if you want you can add all sorts of other words into there too, like madly, wildly, quickly, etc.
Your writing can be as simple as ‘his pulse quickened’, to as elaborate as you want, like ‘his heart paced wildly like a hungry lion’.
Hopefully from that example you will see that just writing simple and straightforward “his pulse quickened” adds just as much, and if not more than the fancy stuff.
Thankfully no one expects a lot of detail on kissing or other intimate details to do a romance story well. You can acknowledge the romance and celebrate it, even if you don’t go into every detail. Also, you don’t need to make up details to make the reader feel something.
Think…”what words would a friend use to describe their first kiss to me?”
Probably a lot less description of mechanics and a lot more about how they are feeling, and what it means to them. You don’t need the details of your friend’s love life in order to be brimming with excitement for them. If your reader is invested in the character and their journey, they don’t need all the details to feel satisfied with the story either.
My next suggestion is to listen to people’s real life stories.
“How did you guys meet? How did you get together?”
These questions can be the gateway to many very interesting stories. It’s fascinating to hear about all the unbelievable that things that can happen in real life! Listen to people’s stories, borrow from them, weave them, and your writing with echo with truth.
Also my last point is, don’t undervalue your experience.
Even if you don’t have a romantic partner or a lot of romantic experience, romance stories have a lot of other elements in it that most people have experience with or can relate to.
For example, caring for someone, friendship, sacrifice, thoughtfulness, admiring beauty, adventure, belonging, are just some of them.
Draw on those experiences, and any crushes you might have had and use that knowledge to illustrate the romance.
Use the journal again!
How did you feel? What did you want to do? What attracted you to the person? What was something special you liked about the person?
For example: When I think of crushes I think of lots of eye contact, some giggling, wanting to hang out all the time, wanting to talk or text a lot, lots of things reminding me of them, when you catch each other’s gaze you smile.
It’s just a few little details, but it’s enough to build a good story and romance on!
So I hope that has given you the confidence to keep going with your romance writing, and also some tools that will help the truth echo through your fiction.
Don’t forget there are also some great writing communities, who are happy to read drafts and give gentle feedback on areas you find challenging!
Happy writing!