Ugh!
I don’t know about anyone else, but listening the way I think about myself, you would think I am a monster.
For example, my brain seems to act like I do not give permission for myself to create anything that just I want. Like my creativity has to be of benefit to others (I do not count) and wanted by others to be worth anything.
Where did this craziness come from?
Why do I need to give myself permission to do something I want to do? It’s not even like writing or creating is illegal in this country!
It makes no sense to me, yet I keep finding it lurking there over and over again when I try to examine why I feel so unmotivated to create, or do anything else but the thing that gives me passion and joy and I love?
I suppose framing the arts as a guilty pleasure can be seen in our consumerist and also our culture where our value is driven by money. Is that the root of the problem?
Do you feel like you are fighting a battle with yourself to create? Do you feel held back, like you haven’t got permission to be doing this? Like you feel inferior? Not good enough? Perhaps a waste of space?
How can we win this battle?
I don’t know, but I’m going to start with this.
“I am not good enough!” It’s a lie. It’s a flat out lie. It should not relate to creating at all.
We can all create.
Toddlers tell stories and draw pictures. They are simple, and reflect their experience and the amount of practice they have had. They enjoy it, and that is the only reason they do it.
We marvel in the toddler stories and their pictures, not because they are genius or very good. They move us, they are showing the world from their perspective, it’s amazing to see what these little hands are trying to communicate, it’s ugly, and sometimes it doesn’t make sense. But it’s still amazing!
Our work reflects our experience and amount of practice we have had. Us not being good enough at whatever we are trying to do, has no impact on the value of the enjoyment of it, or whether it will amaze.
Why do our reasons for creating become value driven?
Why does the feeling that we are not good enough, stop us completely?
I suppose the fear of failure and embarrassment? But isn’t it more embarrassing that we wanted to do something, but we stopped practicing and getting experience in it, because we felt we weren’t good enough, which is exactly what might be helped if we kept going?
So please, please, please…dont stop! Keep going.
Write those words, dream big dreams, put them first.
You can do it.
The truth is that you really are good enough, and you need to keep going.
This battle is just one, of those that you will face to birth this creation, but it’s going to be worth it.
You can do it. You can make it.
We are cheering you on.